Social Support When Someone Tells You They've Experienced Sexual Assault

When someone tells you they have experienced sexual assault, it means they trust you!

Here are some tips on how to respond if someone has confided in you that they have experienced sexual assault: 

Tell the Survivor: "I Believe You."

It may be very difficult to accept that your friend or loved one went through a horrible experience. However; it is very important that you believe them. You should let them know that you think what happened to them is serious, it is wrong, and it is not their fault. 

Reaffirm: "It's Not Your Fault." 

The only person responsible for an act of sexual violence is the person who chose to commit it. Tell the person that they did nothing wrong, and they deserve support. Try not to ask questions about the details of the assault that might make the person feel bad (e.g., It is not helpful to ask the person if they were drinking or why they were at the location where the assault occurred). 

Keep Things Confidential

Respect their privacy by not sharing what they told you with anyone, unless they ask you to. If you want to talk to someone about what you learned, we recommend consulting with a counselor. 

Allow Them to Make Their Own Decisions

During a sexual assault, control is taken away from the survivor. As a friend or loved one, you want to give them back their control. If they do not want to report or seek services, do not demand that the survivor seeks services. Inform them of their options and let them know you are there, but don't push them. Also, don't push them for details about the sexual assault. They need to have control over this information, and they have every right to share or not share what they choose. 

Listen to the Survivor

If the survivor of a sexual assault confides in you, it is very important that you LISTEN. You may be tempted to ask questions, but what your friend or loved one will need is someone to listen to what they have to say. 

Refer Them to Mental Health Services

Sexual assault can be a very difficult experience to emotionally recover from. You can remind your friend or loved one about their options to receive counseling. MUSC has follow-up services for sexual assault. You may also reach out to our program for support.