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Common Reactions After Sexual Assault & Tips for a Healthy Recovery

Common Reactions During an Assault

These responses happen when your body prepares itself for an emergency. These reactions are normal during, or after, an assault:

  • Shortness of Breath
  • Dizziness
  • A Fast Heart Rate
  • Sweating
  • Hot Flashes
  • Chills
  • Upset Stomach
  • Nausea
  • Trembling

Emotions After a Sexual Assault

If you have experienced a sexual assault, there is no wrong way to feel. It is normal to experience any or all of these emotions:

  • Fear
  • Anxiety
  • Guilt
  • Sadness
  • Unwanted or Intrusive Thoughts
  • Anger
  • Difficulty Concentrating
  • Nightmares
  • Loss of Control
  • Shock

Triggers Remind You of the Sexual Assault

Triggers are people, places, or things that make you feel upset after you have experienced a sexual assault. Some triggers are easy to recognize. For example, a person might feel afraid after they watch the news about a crime. Other triggers are hard to recognize. For example, a person might feel afraid when a loved one touches them. 

The best way to cope with triggers is to:

  • Remind yourself that you are having a normal reaction. 
  • Try to let the reaction happen. It will pass. 
  • Try not to avoid triggers. Avoiding triggers will create more problems. 

Here is an example of a woman who avoided the dark to not become triggered: "I couldn’t sleep with the lights off for a long period of time. I was afraid of the dark. I was raped in the dark. I paired the dark with my feelings of fear. I slept with all the lights on in my house. I slept badly for months."

Instead of avoiding triggers, use exposure:

  • Exposure is being in a safe situation that you are afraid of, many times in a row. 
  • Exposure may feel scary at first, but it helps you feel better. 
  • If you avoid situations that are safe, fear will last longer. If you use exposure, eventually fear decreases. 
  • Being around triggers can help you learn they are safe. 

Here is an example of how the same woman used exposure with the dark. "I turned out most of the lights, but kept one on in the bedroom. I also kept the TV on. After about a week, I turned off the TV. A week later, I turned off the light in the bedroom. It was not easy, but eventually I got comfortable in the dark again."

Tips for exposure to triggers:

  • Start slow. It is like getting used to a cold swimming pool. If you jump in and get out, you will never get used to it, but if you jump in, and stay in, you will get used to it.
  • Stay in the situation, until you feel less upset. 
  • Try the one more minute technique. When you feel like you cannot take it anymore, see if you can stay in it just one more minute. Then at the end of your minute, try it again. Just take it one minute at a time.
  • Award yourself. Exposure can make you feel bad, tired, or sad; even though it is good for you. To help you keep trying it, be sure to award yourself with a pat on the back. Each time is an accomplishment.

Tips for When You Feel Emotional After a Sexual Assault

It is normal to feel sad after a sexual assault. These feelings will likely pass, just like anxiety. When you feel sad, try using any of these tips:

  • Stay busy. Get out of the house. Got to work, the park, the beach, or the store. 
  • Be around people. Force yourself to see friends and family, even if you do not feel like it.
  • Plan your day. At night, make a list of activities you can do the next day. Ideas for activities include:
    • Take a walk.
    • Listen to music.
    • Visit friends.
    • Watch your favorite movie.
    • Read.
    • Do chores.
    • Look at pictures of loved ones.
    • Go to church or pray.
    • Take a shower.

A common thought some people have is that they want to die, or harm themselves. If you have these thoughts, you are not alone. It is important to remember not to act on these thoughts. There are people who can help you, available 24 hours every day. 

  • To contact the Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 for free, 24/7 support.  
  • To contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Call 1-800-273-8255 for free 24/7 confidential support. 

Four Steps to a Healthy Recovery From an Assault 

  1. Use exposure instead of avoidance. If you notice yourself avoiding triggers, recognize it. Gradually expose yourself to these things, until they no longer upset you. 
  2. Be aware of the people, places, and feelings that increase your desire to use alcohol or drugs. Try to stay away from these situations and choose healthy activities instead. 
  3. Keep busy. Make yourself get out of bed, even if you do not feel like you can. Do at least one thing each day outside of your house. 
  4. It is common for people to blame themselves. If you notice these thoughts of self-blame, remind yourself: The person who assaulted you is to blame. You are not responsible for someone else's actions. 

We know this is not easy, but you have taken the very important first step.